I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
there's paper in my vomit.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
