Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
