Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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