My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
