I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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