when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I AM VODKA MAN
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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