Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
