The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
