he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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