woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
