Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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