She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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