it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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