No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
