it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
