shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
