i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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