Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
my poor anus
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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