I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
