Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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