i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
