You're so nebulous sometimes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
