U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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