There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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