I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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