Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
