You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
