I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
