i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
