I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
