Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
