I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
