Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
