Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
