So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
