This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
