he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He has the fingertips of a God
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