I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
