I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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