"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
