Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
