like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
