Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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