Don't you send me to vm
he puts the penis in happiness.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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