You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
