You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
