3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
