Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
