I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
