And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
